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Help me out here... If you have a single person hanging out with a couple, are they a third wheel or a fifth wheel?
I've always said fifth wheel because a fifth wheel is superfluous. A third wheel is a tricycle, which is a perfectly legitimate mode of transportation. But two critique partners, without talking to each other, just corrected me. Have I been wrong all this time?
cc/ @grammargirl
So, for anyone interested, here are my findings:
1. Third wheel is (from my very unscientific polling) more than twice as common as fifth wheel, but both are in use.
2. Fifth wheel is a type of camper (particularly to Americans.)
3. Brits say "Gooseberry," which is delightful.
4. The original phrase seems to be "like a fifth wheel on a wagon," and "third wheel" was a misunderstanding of the importance of the number of people rather than the number of wheels, but has become the dominant form.
@jasonrush @grammargirl well from a totally logical point of view, you coud be a third wheel because you could complete the group, rather than being outside of it, so could be a perfectly good use of time.
@jasonrush @grammargirl 'Third wheel' in the UK... I think. But more often 'gooseberry'.
@ishmaellasting OMG I *love* gooseberry. I will do everything I can to try to get that to take off in the US 
@jasonrush I've no idea why though. I'd have to google it (which I will now do). Funny how we use these phrases without giving them much thought, isn't it?
@jasonrush @grammargirl for whats its worth I would have said fifth wheel too.
@walkerb Yeah, same! But we seem to be in the minority... 
@jasonrush @grammargirl I've always heard third wheel. I figured the couple is a bicycle, and the third person is a third wheel on a mode of transportation designed to only use two. I'd probably say fifth wheel only if there were two couples and an extra person. The question is: what would I say if there were three couples? Seventh wheel? I honestly don't know. I'd probably default to third, but for no obvious reason. Short answer: third wheel is my go-to.
@alexhall Yeah, a third wheel on a bicycle makes sense. Although, it's sort of like training wheels? 
@jasonrush I never thought of it that way. Idioms are strange, aren't they?
@jasonrush @grammargirl A 5th wheel is a kind of camper ;)
@tomwebster Also a perfectly legit mode of travel, maybe we need a whole new idiom!
@jasonrush @grammargirl I just know this is going to be that meme where I'm in bed trying to fall asleep and my brain tells me something and now I'm wide awake.
@jasonrush @grammargirl I think the idea is each person is a wheel, a couple making two wheels, balanced - a third wheel throwing off that balance. If it's two couples, four wheels - balanced.
Fifth wheel would be a person and two couples, imo, but I get where you're coming from
@Artemis201 @grammargirl What happens when it's a person with three couples? (You're totally right though, that is the common usage, I had just never thought of it that way)
Two is company, three’s a crowd.
@SunsetFire @grammargirl That's the way I've always thought of it, too. I hadn't heard the full expression before, but I love it, and will start using it! 
In its original context, a "fifth wheel" isn't superfluous, either, because it's the mounting mechanism for a travel trailer, a horizontally-rotating mechanism that fits into the bed of a truck.
Whether someone's considered a third or fifth wheel depends on how many couples they're hanging out with. 1 couple + 1 = third wheel. 2 couples + 1 = fifth wheel. Then again, if you're hanging around someone who doesn't want you around, you could be a second wheel.
@jasonrush @grammargirl I've always used "third wheel," with the other two wheels being the couple. I'm not sure if I've ever heard anyone use "fifth wheel" in that context.
@jasonrush @grammargirl The metaphor refers to the unneeded wheel not the number of people present. A seventh person who’s with three couples is still a fifth wheel.
@jasonrush @grammargirl You would be a fifth wheel if you made a cylinder with your fist, and one of the couple put their finger in it, and you dragged them around by that coupling.
@jasonrush @grammargirl I've never heard anybody say "fifth wheel" but I admit it does make more sense than "third wheel" 
@jasonrush @grammargirl
Now I will never use either of those phrases because I would be overthinking it
I think five wheels would be more stable than three wheels
@jasonrush @grammargirl Also in the US and only ever heard/used "third wheel" for this. "fifth wheel" is a type of camping trailer in my book (which is apparently in reference to the connection, which is similar to tractor-trailer connector of the same name).
If someone referred to a "fifth wheel" in a social situation, I'd assume they were being clever/tongue in cheek about being single and hanging out with *two* couples (or some sort of polyamorous arrangement of four)
@jasonrush @grammargirl The OED link in this thread seems to refer to being extraneous in general, the quote is in reference to feeling unneeded in an office, whereas "third wheel" to me refers specifically to the situation you referenced (being single and hanging out with a romantic couple).
I swim in polyam circles, so have heard folks riffing on it with "fourth wheel" when hanging out with some sort of three-person romantic configuration, but it's always a little tentative, with a sense of being hesitantly coined for the occasion (e.g. "I was hanging out with Alex and two of their partners, and kinda felt like a...fourth wheel, I guess! ")
@jasonrush @grammargirl Ha, I just searched through my chats and found an example of someone else using "fourth wheel" from my own personal corpus!
Scenario: I was planning on going to a thing with a new romantic interest and her friend. I'm chatting with a different friend about whether they want to join the three of us or not.
Me: I'm picturing <description of planned activity>
Friend: And fourth wheeling you and <romantic interest> :p
Me: Haha well that's not part of my plan but yes, is part of your calculations
Me: (As in, I am the...second? wheel? and thus not fourth-wheeling, not that I don't plan on flirting with <romantic interest>)
Me: Also is that analagy[sic] about...motorcycles?
Friend: 
react
@jasonrush I always thought a 'third wheel' was supposed to be extraneous in the context of a bicycle and a 'fifth wheel' in context of a car... but a third wheel with a bike is a trike, and a fifth wheel on a car is usually stored in the boot (or on the back door with a 4x4) and is vital if you get a flat tyre. 
I wonder what your critique partners would do if you said a ''sixth wheel'?
@PaxAsteriae Ha! Yeah maybe I'll just pick a random number every time. "Gosh, I sure feel like a twenty-seventh wheel here!"
@jasonrush I would happily die for a book that had a different number each time it was referenced.
@jasonrush @grammargirl Google books is badly broken these days, so ngrams aren't as helpful as they used to be, but this might still be indicative. Restricting to American and British corpuses shows that while both follow similar trends, the switch to fifth wheel is far more pronounced in AmE. (I wanted to check other corpora but I'm not signed in to any on my phone, & going through PW recovery etc for this is a bit more than I'm up for now.)
@jasonrush @grammargirl (I'm not aware of having even heard "fifth wheel" until now, fwiw)
@jasonrush @grammargirl I’ve heard the term “fifth wheel” used to describe some kind of an RV/camper. Third wheel for relationships, although I get your point.
@jasonrush @grammargirl I guess it depends on what vehicle you use as a point of reference? There are cars with 6 wheels, 10 wheels and more (counting trucks with 4 pairs of two wheels in back and two wheels in front). So 5th is just as “wrong" as 3rd if you go just by "perfectly valid mode of transport”.
Instead, it’s likely more about “on a 2-wheeled bike, a 3rd wheel doesn’t improve things, might even prevent you from leaning into the curve”.
@jasonrush @grammargirl You could even argue that a 5th wheel is a spare tire, and as such a vital part of the vehicle (in emergencies), or the opposite, normally not taking part in any action. 
I don't think you're going to find logic helps here, you'll have to identify the original metaphor. And then deal with people who use the *other* metaphor because they remembered the construct but not the exact number.
@uliwitness @jasonrush @grammargirl yes, and the two people are the two wheels, so your third is... not adding?
@acm_redfox @jasonrush @grammargirl Yes! Good! That's what I wrote!
@jasonrush around here, a fifth wheel is a kind of trailer. I've always said "third wheel"
@jasonrush trikes have third wheels, campers have fifth wheels, but the idiom is "third wheel"for the precise circumstance you are discussing.
https://www.wordnik.com/words/third%20wheel
@jasonrush @grammargirl
It's always been "Third Wheel".
Never heard of "fifth wheel" in the uk.
Third wheel has another meaning, it's basically an extra person nobody wants around.
Say you're going out with friends, one of them brings his girlfriend along who is an insufferable person, it doesn't matter how many people there are, that person is the third wheel.
Or let's say there is an extra character in a story that isn't needed, adds no value to the story.
@jasonrush @grammargirl I've always heard third wheel, but I've enjoyed reading the discussion on it. By some of the logic, you'd almost have to specify the vehicle being referenced.